


Take a look at me now

by kiwiyeol



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: 90's AU, Eventual Smut, Explicit Language, F/M, Fluff, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm Bad At Tagging, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Letters, Love Letters, M/M, Musician!Chanyeol, Practically everyone is gay, Slow Burn, taeyeon is a needy girlfriend
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-28
Updated: 2017-08-06
Packaged: 2018-12-08 01:12:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11635860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiwiyeol/pseuds/kiwiyeol
Summary: 1998: Byun Baekhyun, 20, with a girlfriend at home, can't help but fall for the weird, hazelnut-haired musician who loves cherries, anime and his pitch black guitar.





	1. Memory one or 1998/08/17

**Author's Note:**

> This fanfiction was heavily inspired by the Phil Collins song ‘Against all odds’ and I suggest that you listen to it before or while reading this fanfiction.
> 
> A short info - this fanfiction is half memory and half letter; it’s written from third person but it mainly focuses on Baekhyun’s side of the story.
> 
> In this story, Baekhyun is born in ’78, meaning that he’s 20 when this story first sets place. Chanyeol is two years older than him. They both age throughout the story.
> 
> Also, a big thank you to all my beta-readers, you’re fucking amazing!
> 
> Enjoy reading and please don’t be too hard on me!

It was a hot day; the hottest day of the year to be exact. 

And Byun Baekhyun was running. He was running so fast that people started to give him weird looks while he rushed through the small streets of Seoul, a burgundy shopping bag in his left hand.

He was late again. Late for the date he couldn’t stop thinking about yesterday. Of course, his lightheaded nature made him forget everything again, even until the point where he questioned his own brain and started to seriously worry. There was a lipstick in the shopping bag, an expensive one.

Byun Baekhyun knew the things women liked. At least he thought so.

He stopped running when he reached the Jolie’s, an incredibly expensive café that didn’t serve normal cake, but pieces of art, covered in the shiniest, dark chocolate with gold leaf on top, and to be honest, Baekhyun didn’t need all of that. He simply wanted a coffee and a piece of chocolate cake; he was that easy.

His date, a woman with bleached blonde hair, was waiting at a small table. She had rested her head in her palm, Baekhyun knew that he had left her waiting for too long instantly.

‘Taeyeon!’ He tried to greet her in a nice, cheerful way; his friends would often describe his behaviour as puppy-like, and Baekhyun knew that every woman loved when he was playing cute again.

Sadly, this woman wasn’t having any of it.

‘How can you greet me like that when you left me waiting for half an hour! Who do you think you are? Do you think that I have nothing better to do than wait for someone all day?’

He let her finish her sentence before justifying himself; he had learned that from his mother when she argued with his father again. He thought that this method would maybe calm her; she must’ve been dying to yell at him.  
‘See, Taeyeon, I’m sorry.’ He pulled out a chair and sat down before continuing his sentence. ‘I know I haven’t been the best to you. I’m so sorry that I left you waiting but there came up something very important at work and I had to solve that problem. But I got you something.’

He took out the lipstick from the shopping bag and handed it to his date whose expression had grown a little softer.

‘Okay, you jerk. I forgive you. Now, let’s not waste time and go home. The food here is way too expensive anyway.’

Half an hour later, a Taeyeon who was only wearing underwear was trailing kisses down Baekhyun’s neck, leaving a love bite here and there. 

But somehow, Baekhyun couldn’t really get into it. 

Sure, he loved Taeyeon dearly, and their making out sessions were incredible, too, but lately it hadn’t been the same. It all started with her moving in. Baekhyun just really missed his freedom to do anything he wanted to do; the sound of the vacuum cleaner constantly running started to stress him out, and even in the hot summer nights, Taeyeon clung onto him, which resulted in Baekhyun being unable to sleep.

He missed the old, unconventional days where he could come over to her’s, she’d take care of all his romantic and sexual needs, and at the end of the day he was in his own four walls again, cooking instant ramen and watching TV.

Taeyeon started to unbuckle his pants, but he stopped her, holding her wrist with a tight grip.

‘I’m sorry, Tae. I can’t do this anymore.’

He pushed her to the side and began heading to the door, grabbing his keys and wallet.

‘But Baek-‘ He didn’t hear the rest of her sentence because he slammed the door shut, walking out to the hot Seoul summer-sun burning onto his scalp. He needed some time to think, about her, about the thing that was his life now.

He took the way to the park, the only thing he could think of that could possibly put his mind to ease now. He trailed down the paved street that was surrounded by cherry trees with rich, almost purple cherries hanging between the light green leaves.

Baekhyun noticed a person sleeping beneath one of those cherry trees. It was clearly a boy, his arm covered his sleeping face and one of his legs was slightly twitching. Baekhyun tried to ignore the other boy, but instead he studied his body and clothes, wondering what his name was and if he even spoke Korean.

He didn’t have to wait long to get all of his questions answered because said male was waking up; he had probably felt the other man watching him. Baekhyun didn’t know what to feel - was he supposed to be scared? Or happy that the man woke up?

‘Excuse me-‘ He stumbled over his own words, the still half-asleep boy giving him a weird look. ‘Um…what are you doing?’

Baekyhun realised what a stupid question he had just asked the hazel-haired boy that started to regain consciousness after his deep sleep and he wanted to die instantly. Suddenly he noticed the boys’ eyes that were a dark brown, but reflected the sun perfectly, making them seem lighter and giving him an ethereal style Baekhyun couldn’t really put into words. He reminded him of his mother.

‘I-I mean…you’re lying in squashed cherries and you’re probably going to get a sunburn.’  
That would do.

The boy didn’t answer and Baekhyun felt dumb once again. What if he didn’t even speak Korean; he did have a touch of a foreigner, especially his button up shirt that wasn’t fully buttoned up.

He took out a black guitar and started to play, a song Baekhyun had never heard, but it was yet so familiar to him. The song made him feel melancholic, somehow. 

The boy also started singing - in Japanese. Baekhyun wondered if he really was Japanese or if he simply sang in that language. In fact, he knew many people who sang in Chinese though they were Korean. But all of that didn’t take away the fact that the tall, skinny, hazelnut-haired boy sounded unbelievably sexy when he was speaking Japanese.

When he was finished, Baekhyun felt like a changed man. He clapped, but he was somehow not in his body anymore. The light guitar sounds and the boy’s voice had made him float, his mind cleared up.

The boy coughed and said only a few words with his extremely sexy, deep voice. ‘My name is Park Chanyeol. Do you want to go on a date with me?’

And it was that simple.


	2. Letter one or 2005/02/10

Dear Chanyeol,

what have we become?

I still remember you as vivid as the first time I saw you, lying underneath the cherry tree, our cherry tree, the soft summer breeze swaying through your hazel hair. Do you remember how I asked you what you were doing? I sure hope you do. (You were lying in squashed cherries, did the stains ever wash out? Your shirt was so nice though.)  
I couldn't help but stare into your brown eyes that reflected the whole universe in them, the small specks in your iris being lit up by the sun.  
You were so beautiful back then. You still are.  
Do you remember the song you played instead of answering?   
In case you don’t remember - it was ‘One more time, one more chance’ by Masayoshi Yamazaki. (Your Japanese is unbelievably hot.)  
After our ways parted I watched 5 Centimeters per second a lot. I didn't dare to look into the lyrics of the song you played until a while ago. Now it’s the only thing I listen to while thinking about you - about us.  
Park Chanyeol, you’re a work of art.   
Remember that time at the cafe? Our first date? You were so nervous you spilled coffee all over yourself. Thank god it was cooled down. Thank god it was.  
There’s so much I want to tell you. I want to tell you that I hate you - but I can’t. I really can’t since you’re the only thing left of me and my shattered heart.  
Please call me. Please.   
I have sent you my number so many times. Just respond - anything will do.

Love, 

Baekhyun


	3. Memory two - 1998/08/24

The next days went by slowly. Baekhyun couldn’t help but think about Chanyeol, the Japanese-speaking boy that was actually Korean, that had asked him out on a date and was gorgeous in so many ways that drove him absolutely crazy. Not just his soft, caramel locks that framed his face so prettily but also his mysteriousness, him not talking much, only what was necessary.

Chanyeol had given him his phone number and address, but Baekhyun was way too shy to call or visit him. Their date would happen on 25th, and in Baekhyun’s opinion that was way too long for him to wait. Also, he had finally gotten rid of Taeyeon (for now).  
He told her that he needed some time to figure things out, that she should pack her bags and return to her own home again.

Her face, that broken, broken face would burn itself into Baekhyun’s head, making him feel like the worst person on earth. He did feel guilty, for kicking her out, for going on a date with a guy out of all people. 

Baekhyun always knew that he had a thing for girls and guys, but for more than half of his life he chose to ignore the fact, tried to be normal like everyone else in this whole, wide world. He spent a lot of his time trying to drink his crushes on guys away, forgetting his sexuality and himself sip by sip.

No offence, men were great. But the years of living together with his catholic parents taught him otherwise.

Be a man, Baekhyun. Make beautiful children, Baekhyun. Marry the prettiest woman on this planet, Baekhyun. Go gods’ forsaken way, Baekhyun.

But what if his forsaken way was with a man that made his heart flutter more than any woman could ever?

The night was a long one, a sleepless one. A night that was spent with two cups of instant ramen, a boring gameshow that came on TV and a lot of overthinking and being confused.

As soon as the sun came up, Baekhyun got ready, feeling more awake than after twelve hours of sleep. He put on his best shirt (a black button-up shirt, one that Taeyeon got him as a birthday gift, he shivered at the thought of her), a pair of loose jeans and his shiny shoes for special occasions.

But then he realised - why bother? Chanyeol probably wouldn't care what he wore anyway. He ditched his outfit, trading it for a white brand shirt, his everyday jeans and the comfy sneakers he liked the most.

His ‘date’ was happening in a small cafe, something way cheaper compared to the Jolie’s that Taeyeon liked so much. Instead, this place was selling delicious cherry pies and delicious-smelling coffee. 

Chanyeol had already sat down on the table near the corner of the small shop. His face lit up as soon as he saw that Baekhyun had come, waving friendly and pointing to himself as if he wanted to say ‘Hey, it’s me, the guy that kinda ruined you emotionally, want to love me?’

Baekhyun walked over awkwardly, having a seat on Chanyeol’s table, staring into his wonderful brown eyes yet once again. The other male grinned, probably exited to meet Baekhyun again.

‘It’s super nice that you came! How was your week?’

Baekhyun didn’t expect him to be that straightforward, but on the other hand, he barely knew him. He talked about his job (boring), how it had been super hot (eh) and that he was happy to get a bit of rest now (not too bad).

Chanyeol nodded and wanted to take a sip of his half cooled down coffee, however he dropped his cup while Baekhyun mentioned that he was happy to meet him, coffee spilling over his jeans in the process. Automatically, he stood up, tearing his fork down as well. 

Baekhyun couldn't help but laugh at the clumsy male. He looked cute, looking down at the mess he had made and looking at Baekhyun, his cheeks flushing.

They left shortly after that and took a quick walk through the park. Baekhyun learned that Chanyeol had studied in Japan for a year (so that was the reason why he spoke perfect Japanese!) and just came back recently. He played a lot of instruments, wanted to make his passion a career one day.

Baekhyun listened carefully, enjoying every second of the evening breeze and Chanyeol’s  
voice, goddammit his voice! 

Chanyeol walked Baekhyun home, he invited him in for a minute, so he could maybe borrow some pants. After he gave him some sweatpants, they took a derpy polaroid picture together and took a look at Baekhyun’s old vinyls that were pretty much only David Bowie, Queen and Earth, Wind and Fire, the classics Baekhyun adored. He learned that Chanyeol was a big fan of 70’s and 80’s music, too. They listened to September by Earth, Wind and Fire, Chanyeol laid his big hands onto Baekhyun’s thighs. 

‘Baekhyun, let’s do this often.’

The night ended in a kiss on the cheek from Chanyeol that confused Baekhyun more than anything else in this world.


	4. Letter two - 2005/05/17

Dear Chanyeol,

I check for mail every day. 

In my world is no trace of you. You have our polaroids, you have our Vinyls. You have everything I had left of you. The only thing you exist in are my sole memories.   
Please, even if you hate me. Give me a part of our relationship back. Anything will do.  
I remember begging like that when we were moving in together. Begging for hugs and kisses, begging so much. And you gave me the world.  
You gave me everything a man could’ve wished for - your sweet talk, the breakfast you always cooked, your songs.  
I miss them the most.  
I remember a certain line of your song, Cherry Tree.   
‘And even if the seven seas drive us apart,  
I’ll love you so dearly’  
And yes Chanyeol, I love you so dearly.   
Can’t I just hold your hand one last time? I’d trade everything for that moment.   
You have no idea how much it’s ripping me apart, Chanyeol.  
I’m taking antidepressants again. I can’t swallow them, I’m too scared to lose my precious memory.   
Please call me just once - just show me you’re there.  
Love,

Baekhyun


End file.
